so selfish

i am a completely muddled being, so engrossed by the texture of my fingers that i never stop to feel what they have been touching. 

i ignore the patterns all around me 

it's sickening to know that there is a limitation in existence that i have planted and cultivated myself, with my own two unfeeling hands. 

how to see

how to condition oneself into sensitivity

what is the point if we aren't caring

how is that we can care in a past and forget in a future

is remembering caring?

or is it renewing your disattachment, a seal to the cold shoulder

i am delving, here i am falling

please let me land in a sea of revelations

or if not that then at least a clean break from the self induced drugs; the blindness.

i wrote this in a place i didn't mean to

somehow it seems fitting.